From the Ashes I Will Rise
by 777nicole777
Summary: This is a Rewrite of a story I wrote when I was still a teenager. Sesshomaru has broken his own heart and Kagome's. Can he ever let go of his pride? Scared to let his wife back into his life Sesshomaru struggles with life. Kagome tried to plead with Sesshomaru but no matter he just won't listen! Can he figure it out in time? Or will he be too late? (I might make a second chapter)


Chapter 1

Sesshomaru stared at the picture on his desk of his beautiful wife. It was a picture taken on their wedding. He could see everyone smiling and laughing but he wasn't smiling now. He quickly pulled the photo out of the frame and went to throw it in the trash. Something stopped him. He looked at her face. The love she held in her eyes was all his but not anymore and with that he did throw it in trash. "Sir, you told me to remind you that you had an important meeting at 3 o'clock." Sessomaru glanced toward his assistant and simply nodded. Then grabbing his things he headed towards the court house.

"The divorce will be finale in two months." a man in a clean cut suit said monotonously. "Is there anyway to speed up the process?" Sesshomaru asked coldly. "I'm sorry sir, but no." Sesshomaru merely turned his glare to Kagome sitting on the other side of the table and replied "Very well." Kagome knew he was looking at her but she merely focused on the corner in the room. She was only Twenty-two and already she was getting divorced. Sessomaru and her had gotten married when she was fifteen. They fell in love so fast that they didn't think twice. They had been raised together and knew each other their entire lives. It was a true fairy tale. Kagome had adored the smiles and laughter that he only allowed when she was around him. They way that he would hold her hand when she had a cold and hum her to sleep while she lay her head on his chest. He was always so tender and loving but that was all different now.

Sessomaru waisted no time in leaving. Every step he took froze his heart another degree until there was nothing left but ice in his chest. She had broken him in such a way that he did not think he could ever recover and that angered him. She had always been his weakness but she also had been his strength. She was there for him when his father had chosen his brother over him to take the company. She was there when he had nothing. She was there when he started his very own company. She had been there for all of it with her loving eyes. What had he done wrong to cause her to do this to him? He wanted to cry but his pride forced him to new depths ice.

The meeting was over so Kagome slowly got up, making sure to take her time, so that she wouldn't have to see him. It tore her to pieces every time she saw his face, so she focused on the ground. When she looked into his golden amber eyes all she wanted to do was hug him close and kiss his lips and fall into his embrace like how they used too. Kagome stepped out into the cold sunshine and started her long walk home. She was wearing converse, skinny jeans, with a giant pink sweater and a large coat. It would take her an hour to get to her small apartment so she didn't waste any time.

By the time Kagome got home she was shivering. She had three hours until work so jumped into the shower and tried to warm up. Kagome had been a stay at home wife with a small bakery on the side but she soon had to sell the place along with her car to pay for the expenses of getting a lawyer and going through the process of her divorce. A speedy divorce was an expensive one.

Suddenly, standing under the warm water she was pulled back into the past. She remembered Sesshomaru kissing her goodnight and how he would hold her close when they slept. She could see his face so perfectly as they danced around the living room laughing together. Then Kagome's thoughts went dark. She was wrenched into a painful memory of Sesshomaru telling her didn't love her. He kicked her out of their house. He wouldn't listen. He didn't care. He left her and he wasn't coming back. She suddenly remembered that she had to get the rest of her stuff from their, no wait...his house tomorrow. It hurt her in ways to know that the man she loved didn't believe her. Why had he suddenly gone so cold? Why wouldn't he just listen? Kagome's alarm on her watch brought her back into reality. She got out and got ready. It didn't take her long though. About half an hour later Kagome came walking out in tight jeans, red heels, black tank top, and a spiked belt. Kagome grabbed a tight leather jacket and her purse just in time to hear the honking of a car. She smiled and quickly left the apartment.

When the cold air hit her skin Kagome suddenly became more alert. The wind blew Sesshomaru right out of her mind and she wasn't complaining at this point. Putting all her troubles and sorrows behind her Kagome climbed into her best friends pickup truck, Sango, and together they drove to Kitty's Bar. When she entered the familiar sounds of the hustle and bustle she slowly started to relaxe "Hey Kitty, We're here!" A motherly, fun loving woman came around the corner and smiled. "Good to see ya. How did the meeting go?" Kagome frowned and replied "He's still stupid, prideful, hateful, and as cold as last time." Kitty walked forward and put her hand on Kagome's shoulder and said "Hun, if he can't see past all those lies, then maybe he just doesn't deserve you." Kagome smiled a little at that. "Yeah maybe." Then with that Kagome gave a soft smile and went around waiting tables. She washed the dishes and ran the counters. She was all over the place but somehow staying busy kept her mind at ease. It wasn't until she tried to eat some fried chicken that she suddenly had to slow down. She felt so sick to her stomach. She didn't know what was wrong with her. Quickly she ran to the bathroom and began to throw up. "Hey, are you all right?" she heard Sango ask from the other side of the stall. "Yeah, I think there was something in that chicken that made me sick." Then coming out of the stall she took the piece of gum that Sango already had waiting for her. "I think I'm gonna call the Doctor. That's the third time I have thrown up this week." Then washing out her mouth she did her best before she popped the gum in her mouth. "I'll hold everything down out there while you're on the phone." Kagome smiled and replied, "Thank you Sango!"

Everything was dying down and they were starting to close the bar when Kitty turned and looked at the clock and pulled out the whiskey. "Kagome, if you want to talk about what happened you know that Sango and me are here for you, Right?" Kagome turned to the two women and could see the love on their faces. "I think, I'm ready to talk about it." Kitty tried to offer Kagome some of the whiskey but she refused explaining that she had a virus or something. She looked at her feet and sighed and said "Where to start? This whole thing is such a mess."

"It all started with Naraku. We had a giant party celebrating Sesshomaru and his business. Naraku got very drunk and tried to take advantage of me. I kept purifying his hands but he wouldn't stop grabbing me and he ripped my dress and tore my underwear off. He was like an animal. I was so scared. I tried to scream so many times but he just kept sticking his tongue in my mouth. I kept biting him and purifying him but nothing would work. I felt like every time I hurt him it just excited him more. When he had gotten his pants off was about the time that Sessomaru came in. I don't know what he thought he saw but I was so glad he came in when he did. I pushed Naraku off of me and ran over to Sesshomaru but he wouldn't touch me. He told me to get out and that he never wanted to see me again. He said that a whore belonged in the streets not in his bedroom. I tried to tell him what had really happened but no matter what I said he just wouldn't believe me. He yelled at me and told me to shut up but I just kept going and going and I wouldn't stop I didn't think I would lose him. I knew he would listen and see reason once he calmed down but he didn't. I kept getting in front of him when he tried to leave the room and he kept getting so angry but I just couldn't let him leave. I was scared from Naraku and I couldn't leave him alone and he pushed me. I fell and broke the lamp next to the bed. He didn't even apoligize. He refused to look at me, or talk to me. He just shut off his heart and his love. So I got all my clothes and started looking for an apartment and well you know that rest." Kagome looked down and sighed. Kitty gently put her hand under Kagome's chin and lifted her gaze to meet hers. "Kagome, don't forget how much he loved you but also don't forget how easily he left you. He doesn't deserve such a wonderful girl." Kagome nodded and Kitty and Sango both hugged her. Then the three of them continued to shut the place down and get ready to go home.

Chapter 2

Sesshomaru sat in his living room staring at nothing and allowing his mind to wonder. 'How? How could she do this? How could she cheat on him? Why would she do this?' then suddenly he remembered walking into the room. Kagome almost completely naked. Their scents intangled in the room. The sight of her laying there with Naraku above her. It made him so sick and angry. He wanted more than anything for what Kagome had told him to be true but what he saw with his own eyes, how could he deny that? His mother had been right all along. She was a whore and she did break his heart.

It had been a week and Kagome sipped her ginger ale and continued making drinks she still hadn't gotten her things from Sesshomaru's house. She just hadn't been ready to face that music yet. Tonight was busy and Kagome was enjoying it. She liked her job and enjoyed working with her hands. When it was finally time to close Kagome stayed and helped clean up again. "I hope your not doing this for a raise." Kitty said jokingly. Kagome laughed and replied "No, I just don't want to go home yet. Oh and" Kitty looked around and said "You can't run away from this. So, grab a bottle of whiskey, get drunk, and face it tomorrow with a hangover." Kagome rolled her eyes and smiled "I have a doctors appointment tommorow I can't go in with a hangover." Kagome didn't know why but lately she just didn't feel like drinking. Her stomach was just too sensitive lately.

Kagome was so tired that she simply put her stuff on the counter and didn't even change into pajamas. She simply stripped to her undies and got in bed. It took less than two minutes to fall into dreamland.

The alarm clock next to Kagome was driving her mad! Finally she got up and made herself a bowl of cereal. Kagome sat cris-cross on the couch, holding her cereal with a huge shirt on and bunny slippers, while watching cartoon network. She didn't have anything to do until noon so she just relaxed.

At eleven thirty Kagome heard Sango enter her aparmtent. "What's up chika? You ready for your Doctor appointment and facing the Ice King?" Kagome laughed at Sango's nickname for Sesshomaru. "Yeah, let me just get dressed and I'll be all ready." Quickly she grabbed a pair of jeans and a white sweater with her favorite blue coat. Then the two set off.

Sesshomaru had almost forgotten about Kagome coming over to get her stuff. He had almost thought about tossing it in the trash when she originally didn't come but then after she called he decided otherwise. His heart sped up at the thought of the miko but he shoved those feelings away. She betrayed him! She tore his heart out and stomped on it! She broke him...and he let her.

Kagome could already see the house and it made her heart clench. She didn't have anymore tears to cry so she just sighed and put her purse on her shoulder. "Do you want me to come in with you?" Sango asked from the driver seat. "No, I need to face this jerk on my own. I can't run from him forever." Kagome approached the door and prepared for the worst. Then with a steady hand she knocked.

When Sesshomaru opened the door it was like time froze. All the pain and betrayal some how managed to slip away from them. He still took her breath away. For mere seconds, feelings so strong that they blocked out the rest of the world, swallowed them whole. She was wearing the white sweater that he loved on her. It made her look like an angel. They were drifting away from the reality and Naraku's lies. They were falling deeper and deeper in love until finally Sesshomaru pulled away and put his mask of ice back on. He quickly reminded himself that she was no angel. It was in that moment that Kagome realized that Sesshomaru was just too far away. Her voice, her love, her heart, they could no longer reach him. Kagome had lost him. The realization and finality of it set in and hit her. It left a hole in her chest.

Sesshomaru was cool, calm, and collected on the outside but inside he was shocked and scared. 'All it took was a glimpse at her face and I'm lost!' He didn't even know how he managed to pull himself back together and it angered him. He didn't want to be in love with her anymore. He didn't want to wake up on her side of the bed feeling for her. He didn't want to see her in his dreams. He didn't want to hurt anymore. Sesshomaru stepped aside and allowed her in then he shut the door and pointed to her stuff and said "I have gathered everything that you left and placed it in that box." Kagome just nodded and picked up the box and quietly said 'Thank you.' Kagome's heart was trying to swallow itself and it really hurt.

Right as Kagome was walking out the door Sesshomaru turned and took something off a shelf and said "Wait, you forgot this." Kagome turned and her eyes softened and she looked down. "That's yours. I made it for you when we were little." Sesshomaru merely inspected it, 'hnned', and then dropped in the trash. Kagome's eyes widened and her heart shattered a little more and Sesshomaru just danced all over the pieces.

Kagome didn't say anything else but something inside of Sesshomaru wanted her too. Something inside of him wanted her to turn around and fight him. He wanted her to scream and yell at him but she hadn't raised her voice at him since he pushed her. Instead of fighting she just gathered her stuff and walked out the door. The sadness that poured off her broke Sesshomaru's heart all over again. Guilt laced his entire being like poison, until he remembered everything that she had done. Then his heart froze and he went on with his day.

Chapter 3

When Kagome finally got home her and Sango decided to have a lazy day until work. The doctor had been busy but polite. She promised to call or email as soon as she heard something from the blood test. "Kagome, do you think I should wear the blue top to work tonight? Or the red one? I brought both so when we changed for work I could change my mind but now I'm just stuck." Kagome laughed and studied the colors. "I definatly say the red one! It makes you look hot!" The two girls giggled and laugh and Sango danced to the bathroom to change. Kagome sat on her small sofa in her tiny apartment and couldn't stop thinking about how much she missed her husband. 'Soon to be ex husband.' she thought with despair. Sango danced back into the living had changed and saw the look on her best friends face even though Kagome had tried to quickly wipe it away with a cheerfull smile. "I know you miss him. I wish I could snap my fingers and make everything right for you." Kagome gave Sango a tearful smile and replied sadly "I didn't think I had any tears left Sango." Sango sat on the couch and held Kagome while she cried. She sobbed and shuddered and Sango just held on tight to her best friend. It wasn't Kagome stopped and settled for gentle sniffles that she finally pulled away. "Oh Kagome, I love you so much. I wish there was something I could do." Kagome wiped her eyes and replied with honestly, "Just you being here is more than enough Sango. I don't know what I would have done if I didn't have you through all this." The two girls smiled at each other and Sango helped Kagome change and did her hair for her. Sometimes it's the little things that help you hold on.

"Hey Kitty, We're here early." Kagome yelled as she entered the bar. Kitty yelled back "How did it go at the doctors?" "Nothing really, they just said that they would call me when they had something." Kitty popped out of nowhere and nodded and said "Hey come here and help me with these decorations." "Okay!" and together the three women started decorating. Kagome liked helped Kitty. She reminded her of her mother and in this rough time she really had clung to woman like she was her mother. Kitty didn't mind of course, she adored the girls.

Sesshomaru was sitting at his desk working when he saw that he had an email from the doctors. Opening the email he quickly scanned it. Then he read it again, and again, and again. The email read

Dear Kagome,

Congratulations! Your having a baby! The nausea you were experiencing was just morning sickness. We have a prescription ready here for you to pick up to help the discomfort. Please call so we can schedule a checkup. We wish you the best!

Happiness flooded him at the thought of his mate being pregnant and carrying his pups! Until he remembered her betrayal. Anger and despair tore his heart and he laid his head in his hands. This pain was overhwhelming. Finally he stood and told his assistant that he was leaving then he called up some people and found Kagome's apartment. He was not impressed. The building was falling apart, but what really bothered him was the fact that even with the door locked he had easy entrance into the apartment. His insticts to protect his mate and pup almost caused him to shift into his true form right then and there but he calmed himself.

It was only eight and Kagome was exhausted! Sango had dropped her off and apologized for not being able to stay. Sango had a very hot date tonight and Kagome simply laughed and told her to go have fun. Tiredly she climbed too many stairs until she finally walked into her apartment. She flipped on the lights in the living room and went to the kitchen. She took a bite of a left over piece of pizza and suddenly flew to the bathroom. When she was done tossing her cookies she just sat there for a couple of seconds resting her head on the rim of the seat until finally she stood and washed out her mouth. When she looked up there stood Sesshomaru.

Sesshomaru had told himself as he waited for her to come home that he didn't care. He told himself he would not love her anymore. It was probably Naraku's baby. It had to be. He made himself cold like ice when she first walked in but she didn't even notice his presence. He could see how tired she looked. The circles under her eyes told him she wasn't sleeping like she should be. It worried him and he suddenly had conflicting emotions. Then when he watched her run to the bathroom he just couldn't help it. Worry swallowed him as he followed her. He couldn't hold it back.

"Sesshomaru? What are you doing here?" Sesshomaru stepped forward without saying a word until Kagome put a hand on his chest, stopping him and said "What do you want?!" "For you to stop moving!" Then he lowered himself to one knee and Kagome's heart soared. The pain slowly receded and she wondered how she ever thought she could get over this man. He was the love of her life. Gently Sesshomaru placed his head against her stomach and listened. There!, he could barely hear it, but it was there, the sound of a second heard beat. Then he pushed his nose on her belly and sniffed. The baby...was his. His beast purred with delight and demand him make things right but Sesshomaru had too much pride.

Kagome gently put her hand on Sesshomaru's head and without thinking Sesshomaru's arms wrapped themselves around her and pulled her close. Still on his knee's, Sesshomaru suddenly felt amazing and full of love and then memories of Naraku laying over her stomped that away. Quickly and gracefully Sesshomaru rose and gently pushed kagome away.

"Kagome your pregnant with my child." and just like that he left. Kagome felt dazed as she moved around and put on her pajamas. Then she shook away the hazy feelings and called Sango and Kitty. They were both happy for her but Kagome was still in shock. Slowly she slipped into bed and fell into a happy sleep with a small smile on her face.

Chapter 4

Sesshomaru's demon was begging him to go back! All of his protective instincts were going off like alarms! He had to protect his mate! Then just like before he remembered the pain, the heartache, and the betrayal. His demon slithered back into his cages and Sesshomaru proceeded with his evening until he got a phone call that stopped everything. Sesshomaru's father had also gotten the email and told him he would be visiting for a few days and congratulated him. Sesshomaru made his was to his cold bed and fell into a a dreamless sleep.

Kagome was awoken by someone slamming her door. Groggily she sat up and looked at her clock. It was noon and today was her day off. She was not happy. Wearing nothing but a huge t-shirt and undies, she stomped into the living room and froze. A flustered Sesshomaru stood there on the phone. The night before flashed across her mind and she suddenly remembered how he kicked her out, how he called her a whore, and how he pushed her. Everything exploded and she grabbed her glass vase and threw it! It barley missed his head and shattered against the wall next to him.

Sesshomaru slowly turned and faced Kagome and without breaking eye contact he hung up his phone and asked "What do you thing your doing?" "Defending myself from a criminal!" she screamed. Sesshomaru raised one silver eyes brow before asking "How am I a criminal?" Breaking and Entering baby!" with that she threw another vase. Sesshomaru caught it but barely missed the knives. Once she grabbed the frying pan though Sesshomaru didn't have a chance. Kagome was angry and fueled by baby hormones Sesshomaru for once in his life actually felt fear. He tried to say something to her but he felt something hit him on the head...hard...and everything went dark.

Kagome was so angry but once the anger was gone everything came crashing down! She fell onto her knees next to Sesshomaru and started sobbing. Bending over she laid her head on Sesshomaru's back and sobbed. She breathed in his scent. "Why can't you see? I would never cheat on you! I only wanted to be with you! You were the love of my life! I love you, Sesshomaru but I have to let you go. You're killing me." With tears still streaming down her face, Kagome laid down with her back against him. After a couple of minutes of sobbing she cried herself to sleep.

Sesshomaru opened his eyes slowly and sniffed the black hair in his face. His beast purred with content and they pulled their mate closer until a small ache on the side of his head throbbed. Then everything that happened the night before came crashing down and he sat up. Mercilessly he grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her awake. Kagome, in turn, shot up and suddenly ran to the bathroom and started barfing. This was not one of his brightest plans.

After half an hour everything started to calm down, but not for long. "Kagome, I need you to move back in."

"No."

"Kagome, I wasn't asking."

"And I wasn't listening."

"Look, my Father found out that your pregnant and is coming to visit and he is not going to like his grandchild living here. Plus things wouldn't be like this if you hadn't cheated."

Kagome smiled sadly and rubbed her stomach and pleaded weakly "I didn't cheat."

Kagome thought she didn't have any spark left until she saw him roll his beautiful gold eyes at her. Suddenly that spark came roaring back as a hot fire and she yelled, "You know what? I don't care what your Father thinks! Screw you! Now get out!" she tried to stomp out of the room only to be stopped by Sesshomaru. "If you don't' do this...then every single penny I put to your families name will disappear." Kagome looked down at the ground in defeat and sighed. Sesshomaru after they had gotten married had overheard how much trouble her family was having keeping their shrine open so he donated a lot of money. Kagome would never let anything happen to her family. "When do I move?" Kagome said monotonously. Sesshomaru smirked but it didn't feel like a real smirk. It felt forced. He didn't like this. But he needed her to cooperate and replied "Now."

By morning all of Kagome's stuff was moved back into the house. Slowly she made her way down the stairs for breakfast. She had called Kitty and told her she would not be able to work anymore and filled her and Sango in on what had happened. Sango told her she would come and see her after work and Kagome looked forward to it. She was tense though and couldn't relax. Something about being back at this place made her feel like she was trapped. When she made it to the kitchen Sesshomaru was already eating and didn't even look up when she came into the room. Gently she took a seat and picked at a piece of toast. She didn't say a word to him, but then again she didn't feel that she needed to.

"Kagome-" Sesshomaru said coldly "We need to discuss our living arrangements. For one, you will be sleeping in our room while my father is here we need to act like we're a married couple, understand?" "Yes master." she replied sarcastically. "Kagome I'm serious!" "Blow it out your face, you wanker!" with that kagome stomped up the stairs after losing her appetite. Sesshomaru just sat there dumbfounded.

Kagome threw her door open only to find that none of her stuff was there. This only made her even more upset. Very angrily she stomped into Sesshomaru's room and found all her stuff. Kagome suddenly became very determined and soon started taking out her anger on the task at hand...moving everything back. She didn't understand where she kept getting this energy. She was so tired one second and the next she was ready to burn the house down and pull out Sesshomaru's perfect little teeth one by one.

Sesshomaru had hadn't been in his study for more than half an hour when he heard a crash. He didn't understand why, but suddenly his heart sped up and all he could think about was Kagome and the baby. Fast as lighting he shot up the stairs only to see a pityfull Kagome bleeding and silently sobbing.

It was in that moment that Sesshomaru could hear a small voice whisper in the back of his head, 'What if we were wrong? What if she was innocent?' The amount of guilt that followed that question tore him down to his knees but covered it up by kneeling in front of Kagome. He pushed away those thoughts unable to deal with them right now. Instead he carefully picked up Kagome and carried her to the bathroom. Then he sat her down on the counter and gently cleaned her up. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to." Kagome sounded like a child almost and it made him want to baby her. He wanted to kiss her cheeks and tell her how much he loved her. He wanted to hold her and tell her it would be okay but no matter what he would keep his composure. "Kagome, you don't have to apologize for falling." Kagome simply nodded and Sesshomaru sent her off. Looking down at the floor he told himself that he had to stop. He couldn't fall for her trap again. He would not let his heart be torn apart by her ever again. Then just like that, Sesshomaru surrendered his heart to the bitter cold. He would keep his composure no matter what.

Chapter 5

The next week was easy going enough. It was stressful but she dealt with it. Until Sesshomaru's father came. That was when everything got worse. Headache after headache, Kagome went through her day trying to act like the perfect little wife only to be brought down or criticized by Sesshomaru. She was always exhausted and almost never got a break! She was always running around and fetching things for Sesshomaru. She would often lose her appetite but she would always try and eat something for the baby. Speaking of the baby Kagome would often find Sesshomaru staring at her small baby bump. She didn't mind though it was the one thing that brought her peace. She didn't know why but it just made the horrible not so horrible. When he would stare his eyes would soften and his face would lose the cold ice and she could see love.

Three weeks flew by painfully and stressfully just like the other. Kagome turned and looked at the calendar on the wall and closed her eyes then she put her hand on her swelling stomach and said "It's Mommy's twenty-third birthday baby!" She felt a gentle kick and smiled "I love you so much baby! I will always love you and be there for you! Your Daddy loves you so much too!" When Kagome opened her eyes she saw Sesshomaru staring at her. Gently she got off the bed and went over to her closet. "I was just resting for a moment. I'm going by the post office to pick up your father's stuff, then I am going to pick up your drycleaning, and then I am going to get the groceries. Was there anything else I needed to do?" Kagome asked tiredly. It tore Sesshomaru. His mate was tired and what she said to the baby touched him. Why did she have to betray him? She was his world.

Kagome's vision suddenly got a bit fuzzy and she stumbled a little when she walked. Sesshomaru was at her side in a heart beat. "Kagome?" Kagome just sighed and regained her posture and then asked the question again "Was there anything else?" Kagome didn't look up. She couldn't look into his eyes. Everyday that she was pretending to be this little wife was just hard. They would have to get close sometimes and it hurt because sometimes when he looked at her it wasn't with love anymore. He looked at her with disgust not. Instead Kagome looked down and focused on her baby bump. "No, there wasn't anything else." with that he left.

Sesshomaru had completely forgot about her birthday! What was he supposed to do? They weren't really together but his father would suspect something if he didn't get her anything. He waited until she left and ignored the pain in his chest. Then he went out to find a present. Sesshomaru found the perfect present after an hour and a half. It was a cute teddy bear that said #1 Mom, which was kind of ironic because she really wasn't going to get to be a mom. The second the baby was born he was kicking her out and taking the kid. That thought panged him but would not let his child be raised by a whore.

Sesshomaru sighed and made his way into his house. He was then greeted by his father. "Son, we need to talk." Sesshomaru nodded and followed Inutaisho into the living room. "I know everything." Evidently Kitty called looking for Kagome and somehow the conversation turned and he ended up charming all the information out of her. "Son, are you sure that she cheated on you? She is the mother of your child and even if you aren't with her you are going to be spending a lot of time together." "No we will not. As soon as the baby is born it will be taken away and she will be out of this house."

The timing of this conversation was perfect because Kagome was in the back putting up groceries and heard everything! Kagome walked into the living room in shock and asked gently with tears in her eyes "You're going to take my baby? Why?" Then with growing volume and hysteria she yelled "I didn't do anything! All I ever did was love you!" Sesshomaru stood quickly and retorted with "You slept with Naraku! You did not just love 'me' you also loved another man." Kagome was so upset all she could do was run straight to her room, slam the door, and lock it.

Kagome went into hysterics! Everything was crashing down around her. She was shaking, crying, having a mental and emotional break down when all the sudden a sharp pain in her abdomen silenced her. She was bleeding and she could hardly stand. It was almost like a monster period only ten times worse.

Sesshomaru's father told him he had something important to tell him but the scent of blood forced Sesshomaru into over drive. He was up the stairs and banging on the door in less than two seconds. "Kagome, open the door!" Gasping breath was his only answer! He ripped the door down and the sight before him scared him. His mate was crying and pale with blood everywhere. He picked up Kagome bridal style and quickly got her to the hospital.

Sesshomaru sat in the waiting room with his father. "Was Kagome pregnant when she cheated?" Sesshomaru closed his eyes and nodded yes, "Sesshomaru she couldn't have possibly cheated." Sesshomaru's head snapped up and he demanded "Explain!" "Son, the sperm of another demon or half demon kills the fetus of another."

"How do you know?"

"Because back in my time that was our form of birth control. You would find a sterile male and us his sperm as a plan B pill. Why do you think that little mistress I had during the fuedel era never got pregnant." Suddenly everything tumbled onto his shoulders! Pain, more anger and regret wracked his body like it was trying to shatter every broken bone in his body. Insanity was threating to drown him when the the doctor came in. But things didn't get any better. "Sir, I'm so sorry. She had a miscarriage. This can happen with stress or too much exersise." Sesshomaru felt like a monster.

Kagome opened her eyes and her hands immediately flew to her stomach. It was flat. 'Where is my baby?' She looked around but didn't see anything. 'Did Sesshomaru...?' She suddenly started to panic. Just when she was going to scream for him he appeared in the doorway. "Where did you take my baby?" Sesshomaru strode over and kneeled down. "Kagome-." he didn't get to finish. Kagome knew that look! Something wasn't right. Gently she whispered "What happened to my baby?" "Kagome, you had a miscarriage." Kagome's entire world fell at her feet. "Kagome, I'm so sorry!" "GET OUT!" Sesshomaru didn't want to go but after a couple more shouts he was gone.

Chapter 6

When Kagome was finally able to go home Kagome simply went into the baby room and stayed there. She didn't eat. She hardly slept. All she could do was sit in the rocking chair and stare at the wall or silently cry. She didn't talk. Short answers were all that she had for anyone. All she did was stay in her own little world and never come out. She had killed her baby. Her child that she never got to hold, or kiss, or even see was lying in a tiny grave behind the house. Her baby, she rubbed her stomach on the last spot she had kicked. They were able to tell it was a girl. Her baby was gone. She hadn't spoken to Sango or Kitty even though Sesshomaru had tried to get them to come over but Kagome wasn't there anymore.

It was raining hard, thundering and lighting. Kagome was startled awake from her sleep. She had been holding her baby girl and listening to her giggle and coo. Then it thundered so loud the house seemed to shake. Kagome suddenly felt awake not just physically but mentally. She suddenly felt alone, sad, scared, angry, but mostly Kagome felt...alone. Slowly she walked to Sesshomaru's room and stood next to his bed. 'If you had just believed me. We could have been such a happy family. You robbed me of my happiness.' She saw the empty bottle of whiskey beside his bed. She thought about smashing the bottle and jaming into his eye but that anger faded and she was pulled back down into the sorrow.

She wanted her baby. She just wanted to hold her. But she would never hold her. Her precious little girl was gone. Kagome walked down to the kitchen and grabbed a knife. Then walking back up to the bathroom she started run some warm water. She stared into the tub and her mind and body was numb. There was nobody left inside. Kagome dragged the knife across her wrists. The phyisical pain was nothing compared to sadness and loss. All the way up to her elbow she dragged the blade. She just wanted to hold her baby. She dropped the knife in the water and faded. Her breathing slowed and she swore she could hear her baby laughing. She smiled and let go. There was nothing left for her here and with that her heart beat one last time. Then slowly her breath left her and never returned.

Sesshomaru sat up alarmed and looked around. Something wasn't right. Quickly he smelt the blood and the fear that shot through him sobbered him up quick. "Kagome!" He screamed at the top of his lungs! "Kagome!" he just kept yelling her name but he knew where she was. He ran into the bathroom and stopped. The water had already ran cold. Her body was white surrounded by a red sea. Her eyes were closed and she looked like she was asleep. Sesshomaru had no more pride to hold. He couldn't hold his composure. He dropped to the floor and pulled her out of the tub and held her lifeless body in his arms and cried. He sobbed into her wet hair. "Kagome, please, I'm so sorry. It was all my fault." The sob that wracked his body was heart wrenching. He held the love of his life close to his body and cried over the death of his family. He had killed his own child before it was even born and he had killed his wife too. He had never deserved her and he killed her. He killed his little girl. He didn't even get to see her. "Why didn't I just listen to you? Why didn't I tell you how much I loved you? Kagome," he sobbed into her hair, "I'm so sorry." That was how Sesshomaru's father found his son. Broken, holding his dead wife, and missing his dead daughter.

"Sesshomaru?" "Yes, Kagome?" "I just want you to know that...I love you." Sesshomaru stopped everything he was doing and turned to face her. "Kagome, I, How can you say that after everything I did? I killed our baby! I threw you out! Kagome...I...I...I'm a monster." "Sesshoamru I know what you did! And I forgive you! I know that we **both** messed up! But we have to move on with our lives! I need you Sesshomaru, mistakes and all! And no matter what you do I'll never stop loving you!" Sesshomaru fell to his knees but when he looked up Kagome had giant cuts up her arms and blood was pouring out. "Kagome! Kagome no!" Sesshomaru sat straight up on the couch. He couldn't stop dreaming about her. He would often dream of her and the baby sitting out back playing on a small pink blanket. Alone he sat in his home. He dragged himself upstairs and pulled out her favorite sleep shirt. It smelled like her. He grabbed a bottle of something strong and sniffed her shirt. The tears never stopped falling until the empty bottle finally fell from his hands. He slept with the shirt laid out next to him. He put his arm over it wishing she was here and sniffed it again. "I'm so sorry." he whispered before he fell asleep.

Sesshomaru sat in his office. His company was failing. He understood why his father had chosen his younger brother. His father believed that he could make his own business. His father hadn't been trying to hurt him but help him. He knew that it would take humility and gratitude to build a company the right way but he learned it all too late. He was getting ready to sell his business and his car. His house was too big but he couldn't sell it. Nothing even smelled like her anymore but sometimes when he was drunk enough he could pretend. He sat in his office. Sitting at his desk he looked over at the calender. It was the one year anniversary of the party Kagome had thrown to congratulate his success. It was the one year anniversary of the day he began to ruin his life. Looking at the empty frame on his desk he was filled with even more regret. Pulling out the pistol in his drawer he cried even more. He was so tired. He looked at himself in the reflection of the glass window behind him. He saw a monster. Turning he stared back blank frame again and tried to imagine her happy face. He tried to imagine their wedding. He could see her dancing with him around in circles. She was so happy then. "Kagome, I'm so sorry." He put the gun against his temple. He didn't close his eyes. He stared at the empty frame and pulled the trigger. Everything happened fast He heard the click of the trigger. He could hear the sound of the bullet scraping and then the white flash of the bang blinded him and all he saw was white.

He blinked and stared at the frame and waited for death. Suddenly his assistant clambered into the room and said "Sir, you told me to remind you that you had an important meeting at 3 o'clock." Sessomaru glanced toward him and the look on his face scared his assistant. "Sir, are you alright?" Sesshomaru looked over into the trash and saw the photo of his wife. He picked it up and asked his assistant without looking away from the photo, "What meeting was I going to again?" "Your divorce meeting, your meeting at the court house, sir." Sesshomaru looked up with new energy. "Would you like me to get the car ready?" "That won't be necessary." Running out of the office Sesshomaru used his demon speed and ran to the court. He didn't stop until he was standing in front of the door. Kagome was sitting in a chair looking out the window sadly. She looked beautiful. Something inside him broke. He no longer cared about his pride or his composure. He walked slowly over to his wife. He was so scared that it was all a dream. Kagome finally looked up and saw him. He couldn't look away from her. He could not break eye contact and could read the surprise on her face. Every emotion that flew across her eyes he treasured with new love and vigor. He would never leave her side again. He was still uncertain if this was hell and everything was about to be taken from him again in some cruel torture that he deserved. Cautiously he walked forward. He held her eyes and kneeled in front of her. He touhced her cheek gently. He felt her warm skin and his body tingled. He lowered his arm to her hand and he took it in his own. She was real. The joy that overtook him caused him to wonder how he deserved such a gift. How did he deserve this second chance? He couldn't even bring himself to ask for one because he knew he didn't deserve it.

He looked up at Kagome and hid nothing. He looked at her with love and wonder. "Sir, are you ready to begin discussing the terms of your divorce?" Kagome looked over at the man with panic and then back at Sesshomaru. "I will never divorce my wife." He never looked away from her. He could see her happiness at his words and it delighted him. He wanted to make her smile everyday of her life. He was so scared to lose her. He didn't know what to say, so he said the one thing he had been repeated for months. "I'm so sorry, Kagome." He couldn't even bring himself to ask for forgivness. He didn't feel like he deserved it. "How could I have been so blind? I don't know what to say except, I'm so sorry." Kagome's eyes filled wih tears and pulled her husband to her and just cried. Sesshomaru held her tight and could stop the joy that was overflowing. When Kagome pulled back the tears on his face surprised her. "Sesshomaru, are you crying?" Hearing her say his name, he had never been so grateful in his life. "Kagome, I love you so much. I'm just so sorry." Kagome wrapped her arms around him again and whispered "I love you too!" Sesshomaru couldn't stop the tears in his eyes so he just held his wife in his arms and breathed in her scent when he realized something. Dropping to his knees he placed his nose against her stomach and sniffed. It was too much. How did he deserve this. "Kagome, you're pregnant." Kagome smiled so big and laughed. "We're having a baby!" "Kagome, I don't know what to say. I don't deserve this." Kagome smiled but didn't fully understand what was going on. "Sesshomaru, let's start over." but the way he looked at her it was with such conviction. "No Kagome, I will learn from past and never leave you or mistreat you ever again."

6 Months later

"Kagome, you should not be doing that!" Sesshomaru quickly ran over to his pregnant wife and grabbed the jar of pickles and opened them for her. He had become a little overbearing but Kagome didn't mind. He had decided to work from home and fired Naraku after beating him senselss. Kagome didn't know what happened to Sesshomaru but he had changed. He no longer hid behind ice in front of others. He spoke instead of 'hnned'. He lived so freely now and he loved her so freely as well. He managed to patch things up with his father and brother. They were gettting ready to merge their business's. He had really taken Inuyasha under his wing. He no longer pointed out that they were half brothers. Instead he called him by his name. The new light that Sesshomaru had shined brightly and touched others. 

One Year Later...

Sesshomaru held their baby in his arms. He hardly ever set her down. Anytime she cried in the night he was the first one out of the bed. He had insisted they move her into their bedroom so he could be closer. He cooed at her and called her beautiful. Kagome never realized how much she loved him until she saw how much he loved her. Kagome sat on a pink blanket in the back yard with a small picnic and patted the spot next to her. "Sesshomaru come sit down." Together they sat and kissed their baby. Sesshomaru looked over at Kagome and said "I don't know what I ever did to be this lucky, but I am grateful every day of my life when I wake up and see you next to me." Kagome teared up a little and kissed him. "I love you." Sesshomaru leaned over and kissed her head. "I love you too."

They lived Happily Ever After.

The End

I am dedicating this store to **daisyo0o** for her brutal honesty.

 **Dorkfishe97** for her wonderful encouragment.

And finally, **Rahpsody** , for her beautiful insight.

Thank you all so much! The origianl story was an ugly mess! I want to personally apologize for the abomination I had created. I was exiting my 'tragedy' faze in life and entering my 'flower power' faze and was excited that I had finally finished something. The result was the original story which I am destroying ever single copy of one by one! LOL Anyways, be honest, tell me what you think.


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